My PH Factor

11-11-11 Our Wedding Day

One of the reasons I love my husband is because he tickles my funny bone.  Often without even trying.  His delivery of all commentary is droll, understated, sometimes sly, sometimes witty.  He can always make me laugh whenever I ask him a question about anything if his answer includes "I was thinking about you." or "I did if for you." or "I was thinking about love."  Whenever he cops a "for you", an "about you" or a "love" explanation for any assortment of things, I'm putty in his hands.

Like when we're driving along and I burble on and on about the lovely landscaping we're passing and I notice he's staring off into oblivion.  Of course I'm obliged to ask the time-worn question,"Are you listening to me?"  His reply would undoubtedly be, "I'm thinking about love."  When he does things that would seem to fall in the province of "solely for his own pleasure", like putting on the sports caster's play by play analysis of the football game we just watched in the stadium while driving home, he will cajole me with "I did it for you."  It's amazing how easily pacified and full of good will I am when he tells me, in all earnestness but with a twinkle in his eyes, that he did it for me.  It's such a simple device, capable of deflecting any little bubble of annoyance or a rolling of the eyes.  His generally good nature amuses me no end.

When I first told him I was working on a personal blog, his eyes widened with interest, or was it concern.  "Are you going to write about me, " he asked, his voice tinged with more than a wee bit of apprehension.  "Of course," I replied relishing the moment I sensed his brain shifting gears into full blown worry.  I assured him that I would do everything in my power to avoid outright humiliation.  But let's not kid ourselves, if I'm writing this blog to chart the realities of my life, there are bound to be some incidents, events, opinions and stories that do not cast us in the most flattering light and, if one were to be highly sensitive, that could cause some discomfort.

Now he has taken to teasing me that he is going to write his own blog which, I would be willing to bet the house on, will never, ever, ever happen.  He said he's going to call it "My Sunny,  Funny Wife".  While I appreciate the sentiment, whenever I say something that he finds silly, outrageous or just plain ridiculous, he rejoins with, "I'm going to put that in my blog." 

The other day he wanted to know if I would be using his real name in my blog.  I let him sweat that out for more than a few moments.  I said I'd just call him DH "Dear Husband", a common abbreviation. His immediate rejoinder was that he wanted to be known as PH --- "Perfect Husband".  No problem.  I've often called him my secret weapon because of his unwavering support, devotion, and commitment to all things important to me, but for now, I'll be referring to him as my PH.

10 Truths About My Wabi-Sabi Life

Chihuly Glass Sculpture in Seatle

You’ve found me!  Our journey begins with 10 truths about my wabi-sabi life that will ground your understanding of how I’ve come to this place.

1.   Born in 1951, I've got plenty to say about
all things Baby Boomer.  Hey, I'm a proud, card carrying member of AARP.  I get discounts!  Actually, I've got plenty to say about most things so my posts will range from the universal to the personal.  I like to consolidate my thinking in the short essay format.  Perfect for blogging.  I'm waaaay too verbose for Twitter.

2.   I've been blessed with two adored daughters.  Infertility, miscarriages, difficult deliveries got things off to a rocky start, but I would do it all again.  The only thing better than one daughter is two!  They amaze, inspire, and educate me. They challenge me to become my best self.  Though far from perfect, they are simply perfect to me.  I like to say I had my first child to make me think I could do no wrong and my second child to humble me.  But the truth is, they have each brought me some of the happiest days of my life, some of the scariest and some of the saddest.  They have given me their permission to "go there" should a post warrant a recounting.   

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Elizabeth Stone   And oh how we fly like the wind trying to catch up....

3. My first marriage was arranged and I was the idiot who arranged it.  Divorce put an end to that ill-fated union.  More about my thoughts on courtship, marriage and divorce to come.

4. As a result of my first marriage, I lived in Los Angeles for 25 years, finally high-tailing it back to the east coast in 2006 when my younger daughter was safely ensconced in college.  Now I am blissfully at home in Maryland, actually the home state of my beloved Grandma Kathryn.  Everybody needs a Grandma Kathryn in her/his life.  I can't wait to tell you why.

5. Deceptively simple aphorisms guide my thinking, planning and doing:  “Life isn’t about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.”;  “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.”  “Leap and the net will appear.”  “You’re never too old to become what you might have been.”  “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”  Many more adages inspire, motivate and comfort me.  What are yours?

6. I am the devoted sidekick of my blue-eyed feline companion, Rocky.  While I can love dogs, particularly my dearly departed Jake, a Wheaten Terrier, and Woody, a West Highland White Terrier, I am an avowed cataholic.  From their fur to their purr, they make my heart sing. 

7. I love all things “home.”  Whether buying, selling, remodeling, designing, decorating, cooking, entertaining or relaxing, real estate is in my blood. Home is my nirvana. As Samuel Johnson opined, " To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition."

8. I am obsessed with healthy eating, Gary Taubes, particularly his most recent book, Why We Get Fat, paleo food (although not a strict paleo program), increasing dietary fat and eliminating grains.  While I am far from perfect in my actual day-to-day food consumption, I am 100% focused on a philosophy and a plan.  As has been said, "Shoot for the moon and you may land among the stars."  I would say I'm an 80/20 person---80% of the time I'm on track, strategic, organized and planning.  But the other 20% of the time I'm driven by cravings for thin crust pizza, ice cream, that hard, crusty rye bread heel, potato chips, and more.  Some days are great, some days better than others, some are just plain challenging.  All in all I'm in pretty good shape and pretty good health.  Oh, and let's just end with this blasphemous thought:  I don't believe in controlling cholesterol with statins.  High cholesterol alone is not a frightful devil waiting to do us in!

9. My guilty pleasures: TV and my iPad.  Reality TV fascinates me.  Perhaps there is some relationship to my preference for non-fiction and my eternal love of the self-help genre.  My iPad is my constant companion.  I never travel without it.  I am addicted to reading and information discovery.  I can zoom from books, to blogs, to news media, to email, to the internet, to AbbleDabble Scrabble, all as my whims dictate.  My iPad is my magic carpet.

10. And last but certainly not least, after more than 10 years of searching far and wide, I have found the man in whom my soul delights.  He is now my beloved husband.  I am over-the-moon grateful for this second chance at love.  What joy to wake up happy.  

Now that I've concluded this brief introduction, I lift my glass to you.  A toast:  May this be the beginning a long and engaging conversation.  I can't wait to hear from you!